Quarter Life Crisis; Life at 25

We cannot always build the future for our youth, but we can build our youth for the future - Franklin D Roosevelt  

Move on mid-life crisis. The quarter life crisis is gaining ground.   Addicted to phone and social media, often distracted, endowed with plethora of choices yet sunk in apathy towards most of them - be they higher studies or other plans, the life predicament at 25 or around the time is becoming increasingly tough to be sorted out alone by a young adult. The crisis at mid- twenties which can even run up to mid- thirties, has therefore started drawing the attention of psychologists and psychiatrists more than ever.   

Scrambling over life direction and nervousness over future, according to psychologists, are the two key features of this phase of life. The availability of multiple choices, it appears, at times makes life more complex and stressful for these youngsters.   

By the time a youth approaches mid-twenties he or she has more often than not either finished or half way through a first degree or similar qualification, either here or overseas. Those who have completed the first degree overseas hardly want to return. However with the past global powers like the US and the UK hitting economic downturn these youngsters are struggling to secure the kind of jobs they long for in the country of adoption. Those who are already into careers are into paths that are far from their dreamy ones and drawing salaries that are far below their expectations.   

It’s the same story here in Sri Lanka as well. Cobbling out a living while doing higher studies, saving as much as possible and while dreaming of the ideal career, home and life partner need patience and meticulous planning. Social media which place human worth over looks, wealth and power only go to make matters worse for these youth.   

Adaptability and life-skills are hardly to be found with this generation. Patience with career and relationship and the ability to handle ‘disappointments’, psychiatrists hold, are sadly not their strengths either. They switch study streams and jobs at a rate and their relationships are full of emotional turmoil due to lack of patience. Life in general is largely wasted on phone and lack of genuine interactions with adults and especially elders, have deprived them of a chance to understand life better and face its challenges in a more mature way.   

Interestingly, psychiatrists feel that the parents of these youth too have been a contributory factor to the predicament. The parents were brought up by their own parents who got them to read books on the worth of values like generosity, patience, kindness and perseverance and stories on problem solvers who overcame obstacles with sheer will-power. They went to bed listening to the bedtime stories of their own mothers. However when they in turn became parents these adults hardly continued to read books and as a result their children too did not inherit the habit. These parents pushed the child from one tuition class to the other while they themselves got busy with Facebook and WhatsApp. 

 
As for solutions, psychiatrists cite finding a good mentor or a counselor and cutting down social media time drastically among the essentials. It is important that the young adult sees his situation as something that the majority of youth goes through and therefore stop being too hard on himself. Psychiatrists feel that this in general will help reduce anxiety and stress to a larger extent. Besides, especially young women in this age group are advised to stop being overly figure conscious to an extent that getting the perfect body becomes their ultimate goal in life. Such an obsession over body is often followed by frustration and stress.   

The parents have a responsibility to figure out when their off-spring is going through such a difficult time and encourage him/her to visit a counselor or someone whom he/she likes and mature enough to advise him/her.