A vibrant lady with a kind-hearted soul

A deep sense of shock and sorrow overcame me when I heard of Wijes’s death. We had been close friends for about twenty years, spoke regularly on the phone and met often -- going out together to dinner or lunch or to celebrations hosted by mutual friends. 

She was one of the most generous friends’ I ever had the privilege of knowing; recently, during and after the surgery I had, she was one of the most concerned persons who daily called my children to inquire about me. She even took the trouble to send me fresh fruits as they were good for my health. She was generous to everyone whom she knew was in need, and reached out to the underprivileged in countless ways. Lately, when some who worked in a women’s organization she had once headed were badly affected after floods and lost their homes and everything they had, she was one of the first to help them with large sums of money which was a great boon to them. Her generosity was widely acknowledged by all who had the privilege of her acquaintance, among them most members of this association, although there were some affected by the green eyed monster who resented her role as good Samaritan to the association and the respect she got from its employees. 

Wijes’s mother was a Sellamuttu from a well-respected family, and her father was Dr. S. Tyagaraja, whose example probably inspired Sukumar, Wijes’s only child, to follow in his grandfather’s footsteps. She adored her son more than life itself, and lived her life waiting for the moments of his daily calls to her from the US where he lived -- Suku has told me how she devoted herself to him as a child, supervised his homework, and was determined that he studied and got to the top in the field he chose, which was after her own heart as her father had been a doctor. 

The discipline instilled in Suku as a child by Wijes has stood him in good stead as he has achieved all she ever wanted for him. She was immensely proud of his achievements and always remembered to call and tell me about them. She never failed to be a rock solid source of encouragement to her son and grandsons. Her relationship with her son was an exceptional one, he was the centre of her universe, and the object of passionate love, such as only a mother can give. The camaraderie between them was tangible, their relationship close, generous and understanding. She enjoyed going out with me, saying that I looked after her and stayed by her side to help her. Unfortunately, due to my recent illness, I couldn’t spend much time with her in the recent past. I spoke to her just last week as I was worried that she was confined to home due to her health for so long, I told her that I was worried that her healing was taking such a long time. I recall her husband’s death some years ago. She missed his company, advice and close companionship, but didn’t wallow in her grief, picked up the threads of life and continued the tasks they had begun together, on her own. 

Another side of Wijes was that she adorned the fashion pages of all newspapers for several decades. She had good taste, dressed well with jewellery and accessories to match and was always fashionably-dressed and immaculately turned out. She loved music, going out with her friends for meals, and chatting with them. Her largesse to various charities was legendary, and these organizations will certainly miss her, as such generosity is rare in this day and age. 

To me personally, she was an extremely supportive friend, a stickler for detail and tradition with immaculate values, which I appreciated so much. When she was fit, she gave the most lavish parties, never stinting on anything and saw that the very best of the best in food and other refreshments were served to her guests. She never forgot a birthday, a friend abroad -- Jeanne Mather says she called her at about 5.00 a.m. (US time) to wish her on her birthday, as she wanted hers to be the first call. 

If Wijes was fond of someone, there was nothing she wouldn’t do for that person, constantly reaching out with love and warmth. Good friends are few and far between today, this is why I shall miss my friend Wijes, much more than words can ever express. But I’m convinced that we will continue our beautiful friendship on that beautiful shore which is the final destination for us all.