In today's dynamic landscape of family planning, a rising number of single women in their 30s and 40s are rewriting the narrative, taking charge of their destinies in the face of ticking biological clocks. They're exploring egg freezing, freezing embryos, and the prospect of single parenting, challenging societal norms that tether motherhood to marriage. These women prioritize personal happiness and dreams over conforming to traditional timelines, embodying the changing dynamics of modern family planning with resilience and determination.
Our journey into this paradigm shift began with the introduction of Shaila Paul, a dynamic force navigating life on her terms. Shaila, a British citizen of South Asian heritage, leads her own fashion-retail e-commerce business, Shai.La, breaking barriers with her independent and creative spirit. Hailing from a prominent British Indian family, Shaila's modern perspective is interwoven with the traditions of her close-knit upbringing in London. The granddaughter of Lord Swraj Paul, a respected Indian-born British business magnate and philanthropist, Shaila's story unfolds with a unique blend of tradition and entrepreneurial flair.
Our initial encounter with Shaila delved into the fascinating realms of dating apps, finding Mr. Right, and her decision to freeze her eggs. Now, as we revisit her story, we shift our focus to the comprehensive exploration of her egg freezing procedure; the prelude and aftermath. Two months after our first interview, Shaila graciously opens up again about this transformative journey, sharing insights that promise to resonate with our readers in Sri Lanka and beyond.
It's been two months since our last interview about your decision to freeze your eggs. Can you start by sharing with our readers, in summary, the procedure you followed to freeze your eggs and the overall experience?
Absolutely. The process began with preparations such as taking supplements, which played a crucial role in supporting my reproductive health. I started taking Pregnacare Before Conception, a tablet containing essential nutrients. It felt a bit odd to buy it initially, but soon it became a routine. As for the emotional aspect, I was eager to begin, and the wait felt like an anxious but exciting countdown. If I were to change something, I'd gradually wean myself off caffeine before starting the process, as the abrupt shift in hormones and caffeine withdrawal was quite a shock to my system.
Preparing for an egg freezing procedure can be physically and mentally challenging. Can you describe how you prepared yourself both physically and emotionally for this process?
Physically, I started by taking supplements and mentally prepared myself for the journey. I must say, I'm fortunate to have an incredibly supportive network of friends and family. They were excited and engaged in the process, even asking about the progress of my menstrual cycle. My mom flew in from Dubai to be with me throughout the entire process. My brother and sister-in-law continuously checked in on me. My friends, both male and female, made it easy for me to discuss my journey openly. One friend even said to me, “I’ve never been so invested in a friend’s menstrual cycle before!”
One aspect of egg freezing involves hormone injections. Could you share your experiences regarding these injections? Did they have any noticeable impact on your health and day-to-day life?
The moment I received the box of medications a week before the procedure, the reality of my egg freezing journey set in. It was a strange experience to open my fridge every evening and see all the vials and pens clearly labeled with their storage instructions. I couldn't help but feel a mix of excitement and trepidation. The process kicked off when I got my period, and I immediately called the clinic to schedule my first scan, known as the Baseline Scan, for the following day. This initial scan occurred on day two of my menstrual cycle. The whole process moved remarkably fast, and before I knew it, I was back in the clinic's waiting room, accompanied by my mother. Having her with me seemed like a good idea, as I had never self-administered injections before.
The nurse called me in for my appointment, and with my mom by my side, she demonstrated how to use the injection pen; setting the dosage and so on. The injection pen bore a slight resemblance to the ones I'd seen my grandparents use for their diabetes insulin shots. The nurse provided a clear explanation of what to expect, including the possibility of headaches, which she advised countering by drinking plenty of water. I left the clinic feeling confident and well-prepared for what lay ahead. But that initial confidence was fleeting, to say the least.
On the first night of administering the injections, I stood nervously over the box containing the injection pen and needles. Hesitation gripped me, and it took some time to finally muster the courage to push the needle into my lower abdomen to deliver the hormones. Admittedly, there were a couple of moments when I thought I'd done something wrong, particularly with the part about holding the needle in for 5-10 seconds before removing it. In my mild state of panic, I withdrew the needle too quickly and spent a good minute thinking I had just sabotaged everything. In reality, it was a minor slip that didn't affect the overall process. In retrospect, I can be a bit dramatic at times!
The following days, it became evident that injecting the hormones was surprisingly easy to get right, despite my initial fears. In fact, I got so comfortable with the process that I even did some injections in front of intrigued friends. The injections were scheduled for 7:00pm every night, which was not always convenient for social activities, but I managed to make it work.
One aspect that took me by surprise and one I hadn't mentally prepared for was the lack of caffeine. It didn't cross my mind before, and when the nurse reminded me during the Baseline Scan, I genuinely believed I would be fine without it. However, I was in for a rude awakening. I had severely underestimated how much caffeine I consumed daily. The first few days were a tough combination of headaches from the hormones and withdrawal symptoms from the lack of caffeine. I was profoundly tired and ended up needing a daily nap to cope. As the headaches subsided, I started experiencing something I can only describe as brain fog over the past few days, making it a struggle to function as usual.
Four days after the Baseline Scan, I had my next appointment. This one turned out to be the quickest yet. During the ultrasound, the technician pointed to something on the screen, which she explained were my follicles. She informed me that we'd be measuring their sizes at every scan. After the ultrasound, I met with the nurse who mentioned that my follicles weren't quite large enough to start the next round of injections. My next scan was scheduled for just two days later.
The good news was that during the subsequent scan, my follicles had reached the right size. The nurse introduced an additional injection for this phase. Instead of the pen, it was a more traditional pre-filled needle. She did caution that this one might be slightly more painful and could result in lingering discomfort. Also, it had to be administered at 7:00am. It was around this point that my brain fog started to intensify.
The next few days were physically the most exhausting as I transitioned from being in relatively good shape to being completely zoned out. During the early stages of this process, I still managed to meet friends and work as usual, but after introducing the second injection, I was utterly disconnected from my surroundings. My last scan took place four days after the previous one when the doctor measured my follicles to ensure they were over 18mm, the required size for harvesting. Once the doctor gave the green light, I was instructed to self-administer the trigger injection. This had to be done 36 hours before the procedure, which was my final task.
I administered the trigger injection at midnight, two nights before my procedure leaving me an entire day without having to deal with needles! This meant trying to stay awake, but eventually succumbing to sleep and being woken up by my alarm at 11:57 pm. This injection marked the end of a journey that spanned thirteen days and included eighteen injections. Now, all that's left is to wait for my procedure to take place. The process of hormone injections in preparation for egg freezing was undoubtedly challenging, filled with ups and downs, but it brought me closer to securing my desired future.
While the injections, the caffeine withdrawal, and the brain fog presented hurdles, they were all part of a journey I embarked upon with determination and hope. As I anticipate the final step in my egg freezing journey, I'm prepared to embrace whatever comes next on the path to fulfilling my family planning goals.
In our previous interview, you mentioned that you were exploring future options in terms of starting a family. Have there been any developments or changes in your plans since then?
I made a conscious decision to focus on the procedure and not think too much about my family planning until it's done. With the additional hormones in my system, I want to concentrate on the present moment. It's still on my mind, but I won't make any hasty decisions.
Egg freezing can be a complex and emotional journey. Can you elaborate on any unexpected challenges or moments of resilience that you faced during the process?
Unexpectedly, I experienced significant brain fog that affected my work. I had to step back from my professional commitments. Not knowing when the procedure would take place was also a challenge. I struggled with the lack of a set schedule due to the unpredictable timing. The idea of being sedated for the procedure made me a little nervous, as it was my first experience with sedation. Despite reassurance, it's natural to have some apprehension about being unconscious in an operating room full of strangers.
Our readers are interested in understanding the costs associated with egg freezing. Could you shed some light on the financial aspects of your decision and any advice you have for those considering it?
Egg freezing presents a significant financial commitment, prompting careful consideration of personal priorities and future goals. If pursuing this path, it's imperative to align financial resources accordingly, a bit like managing car insurance, an expense often overlooked. Normalizing this option could alleviate financial concerns, much like routine expenses. Reflecting on my school years, I can't help but wonder how awareness might have shaped my perspective. If egg freezing were a more mainstream concept, perhaps financial obstacles wouldn't weigh as heavily. While acknowledging its expense and individual circumstances, it remains a deeply personal decision. Personally, prioritizing the prospect of having children makes arranging finances seem like a natural choice. Ultimately, it boils down to what holds importance for one's future.
What advice or insights can you share with individuals who may be contemplating egg freezing today, based on your own experiences and learnings?
I've emphasized this point previously, and I'll reiterate it now: prioritize a fertility check. Whether you've firmly decided on egg freezing or are still in the contemplation phase, knowledge empowers your choices. Recognize the uniqueness of each individual's experience; there's no one-size-fits-all approach. Seek advice from professionals, taking into account your specific circumstances. Reiterating the importance of a fertility check: If you're certain about pursuing egg freezing, go ahead. If you're resolute about not pursuing it, that's perfectly valid too. If you find yourself in the contemplative stage without a clear decision, consider a fertility check. Knowledge holds significant influence, and sometimes, test results can guide your choices. While I consistently stress openness and communication about your thoughts, it's crucial to acknowledge our inherent differences. Our menstrual cycles, reactions to hormone injections, and the overall process vary greatly. Don't assume that my journey mirrors yours. Different hormone dosages, reactions, and egg production levels are common. Understanding these differences is vital; there's no universal template for this experience.
Looking back at your egg freezing journey, how do you feel about your decision today, and what message would you like to convey to others who might be in a similar situation?
I feel great about my decision now that it's done. Despite the challenges, it was all worth it to secure the future I desire. To those in a similar situation, I'd say you have control over your future. Even if the support you need isn't readily available, remember that there are people worldwide facing similar decisions.
Can you share with us a walk-through of your experience during the surgery and some unexpected observations?
In the lead-up to the procedure, my instructions were refreshingly simple. After administering the trigger injection 36 hours before the appointment, there wasn't much else for me to do. The day before the procedure felt relatively normal, with the exception of the fasting requirement. Starting at midnight the night before, I was not allowed to consume any food or drink. This fasting requirement momentarily triggered a sense of anxiety, making the procedure seem more serious than I had initially perceived.
Nevertheless, I diligently followed the instructions, although it did get challenging on the morning of the surgery when I couldn't even have a sip of water.
The procedure was scheduled for noon, so I arrived at the clinic at 11:30 a.m. My mother accompanied me to help get me settled before going for a walk while I was in the operating theater. Before going into the theatre I was given a gown and little booties for my feet to change into. The nurse was incredibly kind and provided clear guidance on what I needed to do and when. She verified that I had administered the trigger injection, that I had fasted, and checked on how I was feeling. She assured me that the sedative would provide a peaceful sleep. The anesthesiologist, a warm and friendly man, arrived to insert the cannula, a small plastic tube used to deliver the sedative into the bloodstream. Due to my tricky veins, finding the right spot took a little time, but eventually, everything was in place. The nurse returned to record my blood pressure and oxygen levels, and the doctor introduced herself and explained the procedure.
With all the necessary pre-op preparations done, I said my goodbyes to my mother and followed the doctor. First, we stopped at the restroom to empty my bladder, which helps them locate the follicles more easily and ensure none are obscured. Upon entering the operating theatre, I encountered a team of nurses, with three key roles: the doctor, the main nurse, and the anesthesiologist. I lay down on the table, and while the nurse secured my feet in the stirrups, the anesthesiologist informed me that he would be administering the sedative to induce sleep. Nervously, I agreed, and for some reason, I bid a friendly goodnight to everyone in the room.
That's essentially the last thing I remember about the procedure itself. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in the original bed where it all began. It took a few moments to fully grasp my surroundings, but I felt fine. There was no panic or confusion. The nurse then entered with some biscuits and water. Eager to quench my thirst after the long fast, I jiggled myself to sit up and requested the nurse to inform my mother that she could join me. With each passing second, I felt increasingly better. I had to remain in the recovery area until I could pass urine, a sign that my body was fully awake and functioning normally. After three glasses of water and a biscuit, everything returned to normal. I changed back into my clothes and was ready to head home.
Can you provide more details on how long it took for you to recover fully and what steps you took to ensure a smooth recovery?
Post-surgery, I experienced mild discomfort and cramping. I took the recommended pain relief and rested. By the following day, I was back to my usual self, though somewhat stiff from the lack of movement. Recovery took about four days for me to feel completely normal. Building back stamina after two weeks of reduced activity is a work in progress.
Looking back at the entire process, from the initial decision to freeze your eggs to the surgery itself, what would you say were the most challenging and rewarding aspects?
The most challenging part was the time invested in the process, as I prefer an active and fast-paced lifestyle. However, the rewarding aspect was knowing I took control of my future and am actively pursuing what I desire.
Did the surgery and the overall egg freezing process impact your perspective on family planning and career goals? How have your priorities evolved since then?
Family planning has been up and down in my mind, partly due to the hormones. However, my priority remains to focus on getting back to my fitness regimen and achieving my personal goals. After some self-care and a break from contemplating, I'll revisit my family planning decisions in the coming months.
