From silence to strength…. Women demand family law reforms

Legal practitioners on the panel at the National Feminist Dialogue on Family law and Legal practices

By Mirudhula Thambiah  

• Married women who are in unhappy marriages experience complexities of the Muslim Marriage and Divorce Act when they look solutions 

Shifana* from Puttalam and Kavya* from Batticaloa have spent years navigating Sri Lanka’s family law system, facing domestic violence, slow courts, and unequal legal protections. Their struggles highlight the urgent need for reform and underscore the call for the Women’s Declaration on Family Law and Practice in Sri Lanka—a push for a justice system that protects women and children, listens to survivors and delivers timely fair outcomes

Battling inequalities in family law

Both women (Mentioned above) though separated by geography and circumstances, find themselves telling parallel stories of being silenced by men wielding uneven power and of justice system too slow to shield them. Forty- six – year-old Shifana recalls the first time the weight of the system pressed on her life. Her encounter with the authorities revealed the complexities of the Muslim Marriage and Divorce Act (MMDA). When she initially approached the police, they said, “So, you don’t have to go to the police. You can go to the Quazi court”. Later, at the Quazi courts she was informed that under the Muslim law, a man is allowed four marriages. But to Shifana, the Quazi court felt less like a legal institution and more like a traditional council. 

Despite having no prior experience with the Quazi court, Shifana tried to navigate the system. She discovered that men held disproportionate power under the law, and even basic justice seemed elusive. “If a person is aware of the law, they might be afraid to commit a mistake, afraid to go to the police, afraid to file a case. This problem comes from the Muslim Marriage law itself. Men have a lot of power, and they know it,” she added. 

Shifana’s struggles stretched back much earlier. In 2009, when her marriage first began to fracture, she sought help through the system, but found no clarity or support. The case was left unresolved, leaving her and her children without security for years before she could re- approach the courts in 2017.

Despite these interventions, the Centre found that accessing the legal  system can sometimes expose women to deeper structural vulnerabilities.  Recognising this, they initiated discussions in 2021 in the Eastern  Province, bringing together women lawyers, survivors, and women’s  organisations”

- Anuratha Rajaretnam,  Management Coordinator of Suriya Women’s Development Centre

Sri Lanka’s family law is a very unreformed area of the law, with very little legislative response. Judiciary need to interpret existing laws more empathetically and favourably towards women”

-   Sharya Scharenguivel, Emeritus Professor in Law

The struggles were not just legal, but deeply personal. Shifana recalls the hardships of raising her children amidst uncertainty. “If a husband and wife have a child together, the child is the one who is affected. The father is affected if he fails in his duties and the mother is affected if she cannot fulfill hers. In such cases, parents need to protect their child,” Shifana said. Her battle for child support dragged on for years. She filed a maintenance case in 2017 and received a verdict in 2018, awarding her Rs.17000 for three children. “I couldn’t even tell the judge for how long payments should continue or the exact dates. That amount barely covered basic needs,” she added. 

Shifana remembers the fear that kept her from seeking help sooner. Language barriers, bureaucratic hurdles and societal pressures compounded the challenge. She describes receiving irregular payments and constant delays. “In December 2018, he paid Rs. 17,000 to children and Rs. 5,000 for me. In 2019 for three months there was no payment,” she said. 

Her experience illustrates the human cost of a law that can leave women and children vulnerable. “The Quazi court system doesn’t fully protect us. Decisions are limited, and enforcement is weak. The law should ensure fairness and security for everyone, not just those who know how to manipulate it,” she said. For Shifana, the struggle had been lifelong, but she draws strength from her journey. “I want to thank those who help me find courage. Even though the law is flawed, I continue to fight because this is about the safety and dignity of women and children,” she said. 

Shifana’s story is not isolated. Her years of fear, bureaucratic delays and unequal battles before the law echo across the country from Puttalam to Batticaloa. In Batticaloa, 36- year -old Kavya* carries scars of her own – a journey marked by violence, courtroom struggles and the endless fight to raise her daughters with dignity. While Shifana speaks of being trapped by the weight of the MMDA, Kavya recounts how domestic violence and slow-moving courts defined nearly two decades of her life. 

Kavya recalls a life overshadowed by domestic violence and the complex legal labyrinth of family law. She married very early, during the civil war period. Initially life was filled with hope, but by 2004, that hope turned into a cycle of abuse. “From 2004- 2016, I faced constant beatings. I had to fight back by approaching the police,” she added. 

She recalls the severe violence. In 2016, she suffered a knife attack, by her ex-husband, that required emergency treatment. Later she had to bear a serious injury that left her with 16 stitches. “I suffered a lot. At that time, I was with my mother, and my father had passed away,” she said. 

Her struggles extended beyond personal injuries. Kavya sought legal recourse repeatedly. She filed a divorce case that spanned nearly a decade. “I went to the courts from 2014-2023. I finally got divorced in 2023,” she said. Despite securing a divorce, legal processes offered her little relief. She recounts financial difficulties, the court awarded her Rs.14000 for herself and her two daughters, but payments were irregular and insufficient.

Kavya’s children were young during much of this ordeal. Directing their schooling and safety while contending with her ex-husband’s intermittent threats and property disputes added to her burden. “We still have problems. I have to travel a long distance for work while managing the children’s education,” she says. Kavya also experienced the terror of property damage. Her house was burnt in 2014 by her ex-husband, and she has struggled to rebuild her property. Financial losses and legal complications compounded the trauma. Yet she persists. “I feel more confident now. I want to raise my children in a way that I can provide for them,” she added.

Through it all, Kavya highlights the failings of both domestic violence law enforcement and family law procedures. “We don’t get justice. If we go to the police or courts, those who do wrong often escape punishment in such contexts. This shouldn’t happen to other women. We need justice,” she added. Her story reflects both the human cost of domestic violence and the urgent need for legal reform to protect women in vulnerable situations.

Women’s declaration on family law and practice 

Recently, survivors of domestic violence, women litigants, legal practitioners, service providers, and women’s rights activists came together in Colombo for the National Feminist Dialogue on Family Law and Legal Practices. From this collective dialogue emerged the Women’s Declaration on Family Law and Practice in Sri Lanka.

The declaration is not the product of abstract debate. It builds on over three decades of work by the Suriya Women’s Development Centre in the Eastern Province and extensive dialogues since 2021 with lawyers, activists, service providers, and women across districts. It carries both the lived realities of survivors and the expertise of those navigating the legal system daily.

At its core, the declaration recognises that women’s experiences with family law reveal urgent needs for reform. Discriminatory provisions, barriers of language and class, entrenched gender stereotypes, and colonial legacies obstruct access to justice. Women’s economic security—covering land, livelihoods, and financial independence—remains contingent on a fair and equitable legal framework. The declaration emphasises that survivors are experts of their own realities, and along with their children, must be central to policymaking. It challenges customs, traditions, and interpretations of religion that compromise women’s safety, freedom, and agency, envisioning a future where every woman can access justice and equality and choose the law governing her family life.

Fundamental principles underpinning the declaration include equality and non-discrimination, prioritising the best interests of the child, free and informed consent, access to justice, and participatory lawmaking that empowers women, particularly marginalised groups.

On marriage, the declaration calls for universal access to the general law, minimum age of 18 without exceptions, free consent, and recognition of marital rape by amending Sections 363(a) and 363(e) of the Penal Code. It demands equality in marital decisions, abolition of polygamy under the MMDA or mandatory written consent from women, and equal rights for all spouses and children.

In divorce, it supports mutual consent, no-fault divorce, equal access to initiate proceedings, and early dispute resolution through trained mediation to reduce harm while supporting shared parenting.

Property rights and financial provision are addressed through independent rights to property, fair division of matrimonial property—including unpaid care work—protection of premarital and dowry property, fair maintenance and alimony, protection of the matrimonial home, and equal inheritance rights.

Child custody decisions must prioritise children’s welfare, considering needs, parental capacity, and age-appropriate wishes, with mandatory maintenance and protection from all forms of harm. The declaration stresses domestic violence reforms: zero tolerance for all abuse, immediate protection orders, access to shelters, counseling, livelihood support, and legal aid. Law enforcement and the judiciary must respond sensitively and without victim-blaming.

It also calls for specialised family courts, gender-sensitive and child-friendly systems, equal representation in public service, accessible legal aid, integrated support services, efficient case management, and professional training. A Family Law and Rights Commission is recommended to monitor delays and systemic bias, while data collection informs policy and resource allocation. Finally, it promotes public and professional education on family law rights to strengthen awareness and advocacy. The declaration closes with a collective pledge to transform Sri Lanka’s family law system, dignity, promote equality, safeguard the vulnerable, and serve the best interests of families and children. It stands as both a critique of systemic failures and a roadmap for justice, resilience, and reform.

Expert and activist perspectives on legal reforms 

Management Coordinator of Suriya Women’s Development Centre Anuratha Rajaretnam said the Centre has been supporting women and girl survivors of household violence and conflict-affected communities in the Eastern Province for over three decades. Their work includes providing free legal aid, psychosocial support, and community-based programmes.

She noted that through years of engagement, the Centre observed that women often face significant challenges when navigating the legal system after experiencing family or domestic violence. Some women seek individual support, while others approach the system through collectives or women’s groups. The Centre also collaborates with women’s organizations across Sri Lanka, including in Kandy, Kurunegala, and the Northern Province.

“Despite these interventions, the Centre found that accessing the legal system can sometimes expose women to deeper structural vulnerabilities. Recognising this, they initiated discussions in 2021 in the Eastern Province, bringing together women lawyers, survivors, and women’s organisations. These dialogues, held both in groups and individually, aim to address the obstacles women face in seeking justice and to ensure their voices shape the process. Beyond regional engagement, Suriya works closely with national allies involved in legal reform. Through these collaborations, the organisation contributes to ongoing efforts to reform family and gender-based violence laws, striving to make justice timelier and more accessible for survivors,” she added.

Speaking to Daily Mirror, Emeritus Professor in Law, Sharya Scharenguivel describes Sri Lanka’s family law as “a very unreformed area of the law, with very little legislative response.” Much of the legal framework is inherited from colonial rule by the British and Dutch—making it out of step with modern trends. Reports recommending reforms have been repeatedly submitted to successive governments, yet legislative change remains minimal. She said while the Domestic Violence Act of 2005 marked some progress, even these “recent” reforms are now decades old and need revisiting. Divorce law, in particular, continues to reflect colonial values, unlike countries such as Britain or South Africa, which have overhauled their family laws.

The impact falls most heavily on women. Prof. Scharenguivel stresses that reforming the law is essential, but judicial attitudes must also shift. “Judiciary need to interpret existing laws more empathetically and favourably towards women,” she says, pointing to women who would rather work as labourers than endure the court process for maintenance. Her conclusion is stark. She states Sri Lanka’s family law system remains unreformed and unresponsive, leaving women to navigate a legal landscape that fails to protect them adequately. The path forward requires both legislative reform and a cultural shift within the judiciary to ensure justice is not just on paper, but in practice.

Government commitment and policy support 

However, while addressing the event, Minister of Women and Child Affairs, Saroja Savithri Paulraj highlighted the link between women’s rights, child well-being, and family law, reaffirming the government’s commitment to key policies, including the National Policy on Gender Equality and Women’s Empowerment (2023–2033), the National Action Plan on Women, Peace and Security (2023–2027), and the National Action Plan to Address Sexual and Gender-Based Violence (2024–2028). She outlined concrete initiatives such as safe homes for women and children, women-led enterprises, gender-sensitive public transport, and campaigns to prevent harassment. Minister Paulraj stressed the importance of women’s full participation in education, work, mobility, and decision-making over their bodies, while acknowledging persistent systemic barriers in family law and economic vulnerability. She emphasised that reforms must reflect women lived realities and be accompanied by awareness-raising and cultural shifts.

Regarding children, she highlighted child-friendly justice measures, including video evidence recording centres, to protect and support young survivors. Minister Paulraj reaffirmed Sri Lanka’s constitutional guarantee of equality and its international obligations under Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW). She called for collective action from government, civil society, and communities to build a society where every woman and child is safe, empowered, and able to fully exercise their rights.

Minister of Justice and National Integration Harshana Nanayakkara said the government’s commitment to equal rights, including protection from violence, and stressed the importance of social and psychological support mechanisms for affected women. He acknowledged systemic challenges in the justice system—delays, gender insensitivity, barriers to access, and adversarial shortcomings. Minister Nanayakkara called for careful reform of family law, covering marriage, divorce, maintenance, and child custody, in collaboration with relevant authorities.

Highlighting the need for clarity, fairness, reduced acrimony, and freedom from corruption, he stressed that true family protection requires love, respect, and dignity, not appearances. He emphasized Sri Lanka’s adherence to international standards, including CEDAW and the Convention on the Rights of the Child, and ongoing reviews of domestic laws to ensure justice.

Minister Nanayakkara concluded by underlining the role of mothers in raising respectful sons and the need for shared responsibilities to advance gender equality, asserting that only societal and attitudinal change alongside legal reforms can ensure meaningful protection for women and children.

“Names changed to protect identity”