Ameena honoured for her advocacy on counseling and preparation for marriage

Ameena receiving the Abhimaanaya Service Award from Deputy Speaker Dr. Rizvie Salih

For many years she has dedicated her work towards women’s empowerment, mental health and refugee support

Hearing the stories of the less fortunate affected her to a point where she realised that her ‘true calling was in social service’

While in London, she realised that she could follow her passion; through organizing charity dinners she collected funds to continue her work in Sri Lanka

Preparation for marriage should be made mandatory across all communities in order to reduce divorce rates, especially among low income communities, says Sikhamani Ameena Faisz Musthapha, a professional counselor, social worker and Founder at SAFA Counseling Centre. For many years she has dedicated her work towards women’s empowerment, mental health and refugee support. Her contributions to support and uplift women and marginalised communities have been recognised by the state as well as by non-profit organisations. 

Early life 

Having pursued her primary education at CMS Ladies’ College, Ameena had initially planned to pursue a career in medicine. But despite having the necessary qualifications, her father had arranged for her to study medicine at a ladies only college in Pakistan. However, unexpectedly her father had changed his mind and decided to get her married to Faisz Musthapha. 

But she soon realised that there was something more to life than being a housewife and driving her children to school and back home. Through the food processing business she initiated with her sister, Ameena realised that many women from underserved settlements live in dire conditions. Their stories affected her to a point where she realised that her ‘true calling was in social service’, in her own words. 

“This led me to join the Muslim Ladies’ Study Circle which is a social service organisation and I got fully involved in all their initiatives,” she recalled in an interview with the Daily Mirror. “We had different projects for underserved segments of society in various parts of the country, provided scholarships for university students, maintained hospital wards at Castle Street and the cancer ward at Kalubowila Hospital. We used come forward in response to any national crisis such as helping victims affected by floods and so on,” she added.

Uplifting lives through vocational training 

However, in 2002 she had to leave to the UK when her husband was posted as Sri Lanka’s High Commissioner to the UK. At this point she was excited and disappointed at the same time, mainly because she had to leave her social work behind. But while in London, she realised that she could follow her passion; this time through organizing charity dinners and collecting funds to continue her work in Sri Lanka. This is how the vocational training centre at No. 201, D. R Wijewardena Mawatha, Maradana was completed. 

The Centre introduced a variety of courses from cookery to beauty culture, cake-making, bakery, curtain stitching and so on, thereby empowering women to create a better future. The courses were recognised by the Tertiary Vocational Education Commission affiliated to the Social Services Department. Participants receive a certificate at the end of the course, which is valid in Sri Lanka and overseas as well. 

Speaking about women who undertake courses at the vocational training center, Ameena said that they developed self confidence, self esteem in addition to various skills. “We realised that their families including children and husband started respecting them. They also started their own businesses from catering to tailoring, beauty culture and so on and it was rewarding to see how their lives were truly transformed. So we successfully achieved our vision and mission where these women not only developed careers of their own, but were able to provide for their families. The trainings also improved their standard of living,” she added.

So far, over 10,000 students have benefitted from these training courses and the Centre recently celebrated its 50th year in service. At present, the Centre has expanded its branches to Galle, Kahatowita, Panadura, Kalutara and Atulugama. In a new initiative, plans are underway to provide free tuition for O/L and A/L students from less affluent schools in surrounding areas and discussions are underway with respective school principals. 

Birth of SAFA Counseling Centre 

Continuing to follow her passion in social service, Ameena had the honour of serving as the President of the Muslim Women’s Conference in 2017. She continued her efforts to empower women in low income groups at the Muslim Women’s Conference premises in Dehiwela. 

While continuing her social services, Ameena also completed her Diploma in Family Counselling at the Family Studies Services Institute under the guidance of late Father Mervin. Her aspirations to initiate a counseling center bore fruition when she setup the SAFA Counseling Center in 2017. This Centre aims to provide professional counseling services and support for families in need. A team of highly qualified counselors dedicate their time and effort to help help individuals and families to overcome obstacles, heal from emotional distress and achieve personal growth and satisfaction in their lives. “This is a project of the Muslim Women’s Conference and we conduct a variety of workshops on parenting, marital issues, anger management, handling exam stress and women’s wellbeing. However, with the alarming rise in divorce rates across all communities we decided to focus our efforts on preparation for marriage. We have a very good team and over the years we have conducted numerous programmes, both in Colombo and throughout the island and have received wonderful feedback from participants,” she added.

Topics addressed include effective communication, handling individual differences, personality development, conflict resolution, managing in-laws and finances and intimacy. Ameena further said that intimacy is something that parents don’t discuss with their children. Some of these couples cry when they come for counselling and thank us because they either learn it from their friends or from a bad experience. So they go into marriage with a lot of fear,” she said. 

Ameena’s attempts to make preparation for marriage mandatory for Muslims is now gaining momentum as her requests are finally being considered by institutions such as the Mosque Federation. Recently, her efforts in the field of counseling and preparation for marriage was recognised by a recently launched non-profit Organisation named Abhimaanaya, under the leadership of Dushmantha Karunanayaka who also serves as the Chairperson of the All Island Birth, Death and Marriage Registration Association. Upon the recommendation of Mrs. Ganepola, Assistant Registrar General, Ameena was recently bestowed with the Abhimaanaya Service Award and she feels that her attempts to make marriage preparation for all religions is finally becoming a reality. 

A dedicated social worker 

Ameena also serves as the Vice President of the Islamiya Home for Needy and Orphaned Children in Ratmalana and a patron at Shanthialaya, a home for mentally ill at Wattala, open for all communities. The Shanthialaya facility has been in operation for the past 27 years and has made a significant contribution to the mental health landscape in Sri Lanka. It’s a non-profit registered with the Ministry of Social Services and Ministry of Health Affairs. In addition she has also provided lands for around 160 widows in Puttalam in addition to building 32 houses for Muslim families in Beruwala who were displaced at the height of the ethnic conflict in Jaffna. “I also had the opportunity to be appointed to the National Committee on Women for the opportunity to work with women facing a variety of issues from across the island. For my contribution to social service I was deeply humbled to receive the prestigious Presidential Award ‘Sikhamani’ in recognition of my ongoing efforts to support and uplift women and marginalized 

communities,” she added. 

According to her observations, young couples need to be advised about married life prior to taking a decision. “There’s a tendency of high divorce rates because couples tend to have their own opinions after some time. A man and a woman are two different people and they think differently. Women should give them all the respect, but men think in a different way. There’s a lot of balancing to do. We react differently to different situations,” she added. She feels that as a result of conducting many awareness workshops, people are finally getting used to seeking counseling at times of need. The Counseling facility in Dehiwela maintains absolute privacy for anybody who wishes to talk to a qualified counselor. “Sometimes the services are provided free of charge and in some cases a nominal fee is being obtained just so that we could remunerate the counselors. Our counselors are highly qualified and we are in the process of recruiting more male counselors because men like to talk to men. Since it is a social service project we are not trying to make money out of people’s woes,” Ameena added.

She said that with the approval of the Mosque Federation, the sessions on preparation for marriage will be conducted in mosques in all three languages depending on the area that they are in. “By the end of April we are going to do the first session and other mosques have also requested me to conduct these sessions,” she said while adding that marriage is a sacred union between two people and that it would be great to see other religious communities also coming forward to advocate for the preparation for marriage.