Decency & Manners

In Colombo, many incidences are either very visible or thrown at your face.  However, there are two that are very noticeably missing.  These are common decency and good manners. Road manners are beyond comprehension.  People are only interested in getting to their destinations and do not care whether they cause chaos by breaking all the rules to get there.  Sitting on the car horn till it deafens you is almost like a threat.

Also, rarely does one hear of people apologising for their bad behaviour. This is very evident at wedding receptions and other functions where the tables are laid out with place cards and the guests who have accepted not turning up.  This is a poor show, especially in today’s context, where the host would have paid a phenomenal per head rate for the entertainment.

There are also instances where at a get together one person dominates the conversation on every subject, preventing others from either expressing their opinion or slipping in a word or two. On occasion, such individuals are so intoxicated that they seem to think that it is only their voice that is of importance.  Some hosts too who have frequent soirees take over the entire evening to talk about themselves.  Common decency would be to include the others around them into a conversation on what matters most to them, discussing what is going on in their lives and showing some kindness.  Such behaviour is also very common at funerals, which have now become social events.

A grassroots movement/campaign on decency and manners is the order of the day

Not thanking people is another habit that is quite common here, especially the married couples who do not have the basic manners to send out a thank you note of any sort.  The invitation generally arrives with a gift registry or no boxed gifts note included.  It is only very few who seem to seek your presence and no presents. I was pleasantly surprised two months back when I received a hand written note by the bridal couple thanking me for the gift I had given. I was warmed by this gesture owing to its rarity.   Generally, what it shows is that people are happy to receive but not to thank. Even a personal WhatsApp message would suffice in some cases. 

Chapters could be written on this subject.  I do wish that schools will include a short course on decency and manners in their curriculum in the hope that it would drive future generations to grow up with some decency and manners.  A grassroots movement/campaign on decency and manners is the order of the day.