I just can’t believe; I just can’t believe,” Shelton Perera kept muttering on his return from the Gaja Muduna Temple after inviting the chief incumbent there for a pirith ceremony and an almsgiving the following day in memory of his mother. Shelton’s mumbling prompted his wife Joy to invite him endearingly; “share your problem with me Shelley; it will lighten things up you know....”
Shelton, the owner of the Wallside Restaurant and Bar complained; “I don’t know what’s happening to our hamuduruwoes these days. They don’t seem interested in Buddhism or following Buddhist religious practices as they should be any more. And I tell you this is the last time I am inviting hamuduruwoes from that temple for an alms giving.”
“Why, what happened, Shelley?”
In Hilton style
“Without even an ‘ahem’ I was given a list of stuff to be prepared for the almsgiving. It amounted to a five-star lunch without the wine and spirits.”
“Really?”
“Of course, do you think I am dreaming or something? The alms order must have been drawn up after staring at a buffet spread at a five-star hotel somewhere.
And the preference was watalappan and ice cream for dessert over curd and honey; and no fruit salad please. When I saw it, I thought it would be easier to order the stuff from the Hilton without breaking our backs in the Wallside kitchen. ”
Joy giggled. “Don’t be silly, no hamuduruwo is going to ask for star class feeds. They accept what they are given.”
“That was those days, darlo; this is the form now. True, the lunch menu was handed over to me by a podi hamuduruwo but I am sure it was at the dictates of the loku hamudurwoes. Huh, our hamuduruwoes are going down wrong streets; they are also into business.”
Religious business
“Business? How’s that?” Joy’s inquiry was natural.
“I’ll give a small example. The other day, one of our customers told me he was charged 100 bucks for some pirith water he got from a temple in his area and also that he had to cough up another 50 for each member of his family for having a pirith noola tied to their wrists. What else can you call it but hamuduru business, eh?” Dozing on a chair nearby, Tommo a pussycat employed as a vermin controller at Wallside purred sarcastically, “Meeooww, and I call it just one tip of a religious iceberg.” “Whoooom, whooom,” responded Ooty an owl, pussy’s pal and working partner. “I agree; and they are floating everywhere–from here to Timbuktu. Yeah, yeah, our governor’s religious tutors have gone wonky and our governors are wonkier in allowing that to happen.”
“Meeooowwow (wow), that was pretty strongly put,” “But, that’s fact see,” hooted the bird shifting its perch on a mahogany arm of a plush chair. “There is no point in denying that the majority of our governors’ hamuduruwoes have turned to ways and means of making money.
The spiritual guidance governors expect from them is running second. Mr Shelton’s pirith water and pirith nool story is an indication of the business spirit that lurks behind asapu doors. Of course it’s not every hamuduruwo who is business minded.”
Agendas aplenty
“ Meeoowwyep (yep),” hissed pussy shifting his position on the floor. “It’s common knowledge our governor’s Buddhist monks run communication joints, tuition classes, print books on a commercial scale, perform needless rituals, practise astrology, palmistry, recommend and conduct so-called spiritual cures that has nothing to do with Buddhism just to earn money. Some do a bit better by practising Ayurveda. But that too comes at a cost to our governors. Nowadays some identify hamuduruism as a business profession.” Pussy’s declaration was difficult to contest.
“Hoot, hoot! You have forgotten they also adopt ruses to collect money from governors through temple dayakayas for pinkamas and for all kinds of temple needs. I wonder whether hamuduruwoes have a hand in selling religious artefacts, flowers and at temple premises and the visits of tourists. They are all money spinners the levels of which vary from one temple to another. The bigger and the better known temples and dewala complexes rake in bushels of shekels that are lost in spiritual obscurity. Have you heard of humuduruwoes and dewala nilames keeping accounts? ”
“Purrrrrr! Don’t know. If they do, they certainly don’t end with COPE,” pussy laughed the way pussies do. “And you know what? Most of our governors who do not quite understand Buddhism get hooked on temple- brewed rituals and affairs veiled as part of Buddhist practices that are money-making avenues. And I tell you it’s not confined to Buddhism either. See what happens at Hindu kovils. Thousands flock to them to pay homage to Hindu gods; ask them for favours and pay vows for favours received. And in doing so, they offer flowers, fruit, make special poojas, make handsome donations give presents made of gold to their gods. But how do these offerings ever reach the gods? The dumbos don’t understand that the beneficiaries are poosaris and custodians of kovils. They have made a business out of it. Tens of thousands of Hindu temples across India visited by millions and millions of Hindu governors make damn good money. There are massive Hindu temple complexes earning money in the crores, rich enough to buy half the state in which they are situated. On a smaller scale pretext Hindu Brahmins perform poojas often by force on ‘behalf’ of Hindu devotees and charge exorbitant fees for their ‘services’, I hear. Such parasites don’t even spare tourists. But then a pooja can be conducted by anyone–alone–in a simple manner without a go-between, unnecessary fuss and cost.”
“Ahaaaa!” hooted the wise-looking owl. “Do you see the common factor? Commercialized religion, and it has come of age. But what are governments doing about this sacrilege? The Buddhist set up in this country is vast; a special ministry overlooks it; but has it made a difference? No, but savvy Buddhist governors have moved away from such religious money making hocus-pocus to practise Buddhism the Buddha taught. But that’s just a handful; the rest are just mixed-up cases who have no second thoughts in paying for fiascos generated by religious figures. As one learned priest observed, ‘Even a pig’s tail considered holy would be good enough for worship and poojas for such ladies and gentlemen’. Oh yeah, our governors can’t think. See even though Islam forbids practices like bowing at someone’s grave, governors fooled by dishonest Muslim clerics do so. You see the not-so-religious-learnt people are easy meat for religious humbugs chasing after money.” The bird had his moments.
It’s worldwide
The discussion between the two was prompted by their master’s and mistress’s short conversation on commercialized religion has crept into most religions to astonishing degrees. Many may argue it is a strategy to keep the membership interested and bound together in religion but then the question is whether such attempts are eroding the core of the traditional religions of the world.
“From a heap of western countries to heaps of eastern ones, it has spread like bush fire,” purred pussy. “I heard that churches in Canada and America are running empty. Some have been put up for sale but others are booming as commercialized religions through mega churches some big enough to accommodate 1500 ‘lost souls’ looking for spiritual and physical comfort and satisfaction.” (Pussy watched CNN news regularly on his
master’s TV.)
“That’s new to me,” hooted the bird?”
“Mega churches follow just one policy–“total and excellent service”. Their priests do not just preach on Sundays, they keep their churches and church buildings open 24 hours every day of the year. These religious Goliaths are actually complexes that house banks, pharmacies, schools, play grounds, gyms, supermarkets, theatres, food courts, cafes and parking spaces for cars owned by shoppers and church goers. Churches are not religious places anymore; they are financial institutions rolling in money,” purred pussy. “And pastorpreneurs–deliver the goods just by applying good management techniques. Purshshsh! Old or new it doesn’t matter. Apart from the mod church complexes, it’s an open secret that the Vatican and the Catholic Church, Freemasonry, Judaism, churches like the Church of England, some Hindu temples and Islamic set-ups are extremely rich.
“Thuhooooot, didn’t I know that,”
hooted the bird.
“Meeoowwyep (Yep).” purred pussy, “and they dwarf the religious sole-traders in this country...”
“It’s all very sad, really,” interrupted Ooty. “Traditional religious values are fading while religious entrepreneurs keep feasting on governors who keep running from one pillar to another in search of ‘spirituality’. Shouldn’t something be done about it?” the bird
sounded anxious.
“It’s too late for that,” purred pussy. “The stallions bolted long ago; and the stable keepers who have decided to do better than just bread and butter have jumped the mod religious bandwagon; ‘welcome corporate religion, we are with you all the way’ is their chorus.”
