Where are the Colombians?

Colombians, it is alleged, are becoming Mahindians? -Those in a hurry for the curry; the fickle, the worms of Colombo, in the vision of authentic Colombians. Is it a divided caste within a class? Let’s dwell deep.

Exodus is not in hordes since most are made of sterner stuff –with an abundance of true grit. If not for their strength of survival how is it to remain a lifetime loser, living on eternal hope alone?  Understandable, the promised regime change is like the revolution of the old left - permanently around the corner - takes fatal wrong turns, inviting periodic setbacks - it truly taxes the lasting powers of those synchronised for quick returns. Such cannot afford to linger on a shoestring for long. Come Geneva 2014! – it might have to be export-oriented since the locals are not getting their act together.

Have to live and grin and bear the shame. Need not look afar - if a senior UNPer is progressing on a pilgrim’s path with a President on an official visit. Good Christians as blessed pilgrims never did cringe for state patronage to visit the Holy Land? - Righteous does it in good faith on their own, at their expense – not as official baggage on a public jaunt. Is it the Opposition that sanctioned this sanctimonious act of piety as the pacemaker of an unholy alliance or is the culprit on a frolic on his own searching for god’s rich acre? Are today’s needy sent on pilgrimages abroad to accumulate merit to live better amongst those living amidst great hardship. Is such the quality of state sponsored Christian charity?

When many in society are booming purely because they have the right connections…why hibernate in a weary opposition when there is warm welcome beckoning? Overstayed in a  cold, inhospitable and arrogant climate. A reversing process needs a contact man, telephone call and a word to the correct ear for an audition – of course the contact man is dumped when more prominent names come into the frame. In a climate where all are welcome with elections drawing near, the rush is on to an early bird phenomenon with limited plums in the basket.

 It’s honey in the ear during the course of the cross-over, if it is loosely held out, that it is possible to accelerate the movement of another green politician to the blue column. Just hold out a false promise, it works wonders.

These new lads are more Alsatian-like than the old firm. They dance the jig to the tune of the Temple Trees orchestra. Face it - stranded in a world unknown and totally dependent for the bread and butter on Almighty they play ball to travel long.

Life is not cushioned in this fresh environ – ostracized by old buddies whose company was congenial and affable. Now encounter the rough edges that need a show of tolerance if the desire is to survive and succeed. You got to be cherry with those in your book that ought to be loathed. Search for relatives whose philosophy was once deemed wonky because it was thought too radically left. Set table for a new set of diners at home, whose etiquette maybe weird. Forgo human rights for war crimes, take pride in night races to please the pups, invite the yako’s to the golf club, seek avenues to be a member in the diners club of prominent politicians, whose dinner service is often their operating theatre.  

Don’t label my valued friend S.L. Gunasekera a racist; his vision is worth its value because it brings bulk votes of the urban middle class. He may sound a world apart but is closer to reality in modern trends. If you want to look a pretended moderate, mildly criticise fiscal policy to maintain a false equilibrium, without murmuring the names of Nivard or PB – both are upfront in the big league. If you need to lash a government politician to enhance a mock image of impartiality, pick on simple Rajiv – nobody’s love child, he is not taken seriously by the Ministry of External Affairs, to whom he offers garrulous advice, which as a matter of courtesy they should at least listen until it becomes unbearable.

Learn the words to join the chorus of popular Sinhala ditties sung at political parties; cut the clout for a moment if as a chairman of a blue chip consider it beneath to be heard humming a local tune: times have changed chum, in status symbols. If the need arises learn to eat dog food and enjoy it, if it is the filthy lucre you are searching for the old firm.

Greet Mervyn and Duminda as long lost friends and they sure would reciprocate with their accustomed charm – treat them with respect: forget their past and eat your own words. Ensure the better half plays merry ball, though once she was high on principle, yet she is now a recipient too of freebies that needs a change in her style of dumb speech. Many a lady finds it easy being deaf and dumb, while enjoying the crumps. Let the good lady join the party substituting principle for plums. Fringe benefits availed will be the common talk among green-eyed friends and relatives - naturally they will ridicule behind backs and be charming upfront. Just laugh it off - who cares? So much is there in the year round hamper. With all the shortcomings, give all the luxuries in the world to the kids to cover ugly tracks.

Bear the embarrassment: face the hostility- survive and surface - its a bed of roses and pricks. Play the game of follow the leaders (emphasis is on the multiple), display servility and fawn, stand when you should sit and sit when you are beckoned, nod in agreement whether it meets with your approval or otherwise, talk less and listen more (they like being heard than listen to your worldly crap) and do as told. My boy, that is the secret of your success and soon you will overtake the party stalwarts of the venerable party. Old brooms are on exit route because they have ceased to be men of action. Deep down there is a complicated inferiority complex and in the search of sophistication, green is the attractive colour –certainly it is not red.

Those are the thorny pricks but await the blooming rose that arrives with time. When the desired offering comes, grab it with both hands, convert the contract to the maximum: for they are too lazy to read the fine thin line or there is uneasy collusion by stealth, discovered belatedly by a lawyer in despair and its too late to rectify in covering tracks- so it stands hush, hush. There is no cause for panic for by now you are in bigger business or back with the greens with a giant bundle of green notes. Who cares…its public funds? Such cheat, not just the blues, greens and reds - but all the colours in the rainbow.

Just a passing note: Mention Lalit’s name at the drop of a hat to look hygienic, vaguely talk of jogging with Gamini Senarath to show you are going places and remember to send season’s greetings to Wimal and Champika in the vernacular-their votes count. Instead of a ‘Hi’ learn to say ‘Jayawewa’ with much passion.