An impossible dream comes true after the war

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-By Sarasi Paranamanna

“I thought all this would be impossible before the end of the war. I could not even dream of getting married to a girl because of the life I led before the war ended” said Murugaiyya Sashikumar (33) just minutes after entering into a wedded life with his wife Jeyrasa Mary.

Though it seemed like any other wedding ceremony, the stories of their lives are extraordinary as Sashikumar has fought for the LTTE, gone through rehabilitation and has now transformed his life into one where he could look forward to a future with hope.

On Sashikumar’s wedding day, two other couples also had the fortune of tying the knot and looking forward to a future. Two members of the Civil Defense Force (CDF) and two ex-LTTE combatants took their wedding vows to each other along with Sashikumar and his wife, to start a new lease of life on September 18, in Kilinochchi. All three ceremonies were held simultaneously at the Kilinochchi- Mullaitivu joint Operations Headquarters of the CDF.

The three ceremonies were held according to Hindu, Buddhist and Catholic wedding rituals separately and the whole affair seemed to re-ignite hope about reconciliation and letting go of petty differences such as race and religion when three religions united life partners on one ground. The Civil Defense Force identifying the three couples had organised the joint marriage ceremony bearing all costs from decorations to the registration of marriage.

Sashikumar , being just over 3 feet in height had been the shortest combatant in the LTTE. In year 2000 he had joined the LTTE thinking that having a family on his own would just be a dream. He had been working for the Radha Force in the LTTE managing storages with little hope of a stable lifestyle. Since childhood Sashikumar had faced many hardships as his mother had passed away when he was just a one-year-old.

" The three ceremonies were held according to Hindu, Buddhist and Catholic wedding rituals separately and the whole affair seemed to re-ignite hope about reconciliation and letting go of petty differences such as race and religion when three religions united life partners on one ground. "

“I do not want to dwell on the past. I have gone through rehabilitation and now I’m working for the Civil Defense Force. What matters now is to work honestly and to try and rebuild a new life for both of us” he said. Dressed in a full suit, Sashikumar was busy chatting and taking pictures with his wife Mary after receiving the blessings from the Catholic priest. But he did not forget to tell us how he met his wife.

Mary, who is the same height as Sashikumar, giving a bright smile excitedly chatted in Tamil with her husband and told how coincidental their meeting was as Mary had first seen Sashikumar when she had visited the Joint Operation Headquarters of the CDF in Killinochchi. Sashikumar went on to say that it was the CDF Commanding officer in Killinochchi, Lt. Colonel W.W. Rathnapriya who helped him to find a partner.

“´Mary’s sister is a teacher, who came asking for a job in the CDF. Then Lt. Colonel Rathnapriya has seen Mary. I was now working under Lt. Colonel Rathnapriya and he asked me whether I would like to meet Mary. After some time we decided to get married” he quipped.

 When asked about his future plans, Sashikumar said he has only one dream and that is to build his own house and start a family life.
“Before the war ended, a family life was impossible to imagine. I don’t own any land and still there is no place to build a house of our own. But I will work hard to build us a house. There is peace in the country and I would like to enjoy peace while building a new life for myself” he said. Mary too said since she is married now her only plan is to take care of her husband and lead a happy life.

The other couple that included a Sinhalese CDF soldier and his Tamil girlfriend, who is also a member of the CDF tied the knot in a Poruwa ceremony. Dressed in an ‘Osari’ Sugandhini, who is 19-years-old posed shyly for photographs and since she is not fluent in Sinhalese her husband Harsha Nuwan (23) had to help her out to speak to us.

“She cannot speak Sinhalese still, but I know Tamil. So we can manage” said Harsha Nuwan with a smile and added that they got to know each other while they were on duty.

“It has been about one year since we met each other. We were both attached to duty in Killinochchi. Actually I’m from Medawachchiya and she is from Pudukuduirippu. I felt that she was good for me and we decided to get married” Harsha Nuwan went on shyly.

Sugandhini said that they are planning to live in Medawachchiya and she is extremely happy that she was able to get married to Harsha Nuwan.

Perimbanadan Varman and Nadarasa Sukirtha married according to Hindu customs. Amidst the joyful relatives the couple stepped into a wedded life realising their own dream to start a family. Varman and Sukirtha are both ex-LTTE combatants, who have undergone rehabilitation. Today they too have transformed their lives into ones that are filled with hopes for the future. Sukirtha has studied up to A/Ls and she said that she has plans to make use of her education. The couple’s parents and relatives gathered around them happily to wish the newly wedded couple and the occasion was more joyful as the relatives were eager to see the other rituals of the ceremonies which took place according to Catholic and Buddhist traditions.

Hambantota UPFA MP, Namal Rajapaksa and CDF Director General Ananda Peiris attended the marriage registration as attesting witnesses.
 Pix by Pradeep Pathirana