FOR SCHOOL LEAVERS

By Goolbai Gunasekara

At every  School Graduation is a special ceremony held by many International Schools testifying to the fact that the student has completed 12 years of schooling -  I make it a point to warn these latest entrants into the ‘real’ world that life is no longer as predictable as were their lives in school.

In school rewards and punishments are fairly handed out. Hard work is rewarded. Malingerers warned and wrong doers severely dealt with. Real life cannot be compartmentalized so neatly. In fact the opposite happens. The daily papers are full of the most appalling crimes being committed by people who apparently get off scot free. Not good role models for our youngster are they! 

Principals and teachers face the difficult task of trying  to prove that crime does not pay while day after day the goings on of World Leaders. to say nothing of some of our own past  leaders, teeter precariously on public censure. But we try! We hear success stories of well performing students but the failures are hushed up. And believe me there ARE failures Not necessarily academic failures but failure to cope with a life away from home. These are a few hints which we hope against hope will guide our bright youngsters to become  ideal citizens.  This is  what I say to them.

School Leaving Advice 

Expect to be homesick. See it through. The first three weeks are hard but life becomes much easier after that, One young student called home every night sobbing. “I want to come home. I am so lonely here.”  “Coming home is not an option,” said her wise mother.  “If you feel the same after a year you can scrap your Degree plans but you must see out the year.” At the end of the four year course it was hard to get her home at all.          

It is important to achieve a balance. This refers to the balance between relationships  you  have with others as well as the mental balance you seek to achieve for yourself. As a University student you need to balance  studies as well as your social life. This is highly necessary as the sudden freedom goes straight to the heads of some less well balanced young persons.

If  you  think that what your parents have taught you about restraint and careful living is irrelevant in the modern world you are quite wrong. Their advice has  been  solidly proven. If you regard your parents as worrying, old fashioned, laid-back types remember they became that way after bringing you up,  picking up after you, cleaning your room and  overseeing  your daily studies. In another 25 years or so you are going to be just like them. So watch it!

Don’t drink. Alcohol intake on a daily basis is not a good idea. Sri Lankan students  fall into this trap in a desire to be accepted by other students. They soon find they cannot get out of it.

 Be clean. There is nothing more irritating than body odour and even if  you find  yourselves in cold countries make sure you smell good. This is specially important when you start your working careers. In an well known case in Germany, a woman was asked to quit her job because her fellow workers complained that her body odour  upset their concentration.

After the age of  16 you can no longer blame your parents for your failures. You may still be in school but you are responsible for the choices you make. Many of them will be immature and wrong but you must face the consequences.  For instance driving without a license just to show off to friends is plain silly to say nothing of being downright  illegal. Driving very fast even when you do have a license to show off to a  friend (specially a girl friend) is very immature. Your parents will have to pay for all this recklessness but the day will come sooner than you think when YOU will do the paying.

As you leave school or University you will be thinking of your careers. If you have a Degree do not imagine that you are going to land a high paying job with all kinds of perks unless you manage to marry the boss’s daughter. Hard work and the day to day grind will get results and, hopefully, justifiable rewards.

Deal with office injustice. The guy beneath you in qualifications, ability and age may get the promotion. Do not just accept it and smoulder with indignation.  Face it  even if it means you may lose the job you have. There is always a way to be tactful but heard.

Be sincere. It will be appreciated. I remember the case of Jimmy Barrucha who was one of Sri Lanka’s best known Radio Personalities till quite recently. His name was a byword for elegant speech as well as for an over-all ‘niceness’ of personality. I had occasion to work personally with him in the old Radio Ceylon days. He was always charming, always kind and always courteous. Everyone loved him and respected him. In a place well known for undercutting and gossip , Jimmy Barrucha sailed serenely over all of it by being a completely sincere being. Genuine sincerity pays and your bosses will value it. 

Never undertake work you cannot complete. You cannot  blame outside factors for your failure to finish what you are expected to do. Unless you are dying there is no acceptable excuse. Sri Lankans who work abroad soon realize what a  strong work ethic  operates overseas. Westerners get to work through snowstorms or even minor earthquakes! Viruses, severe colds, stomach  flu etc. may make you feel like death but your bosses  expect you  to come to work and then die in office if needs be!

Be conscious of expenses even if your parents are wealthy. Learn to economise. Do not spend more than you need on foolish luxuries, In fact limit yourselves to being consciously careful with your pocket money. Your parents will appreciate this show of maturity.

Join Clubs the University offers. One Buddhist girl I know joined the College Christian Choir, She had a great time. No one tried to convert her. Also such variety of interests looks good on your resume.

Copy the best of the country in which you are studying. Do not try to be ‘cool’ and copy a downslide of the  standards of your new friends just to be popular.

Learn discrimination and choose to associate with those who are of different races if you can. Sri Lankan students go all over the world these days and there are representatives of many nations in whatever College for which you opt. Enjoy the diversity.

And finally, eat sensibly. It is a standard joke that students returning from the USA put on at least 10 pounds in the first year, Visiting my granddaughter years ago, when she was in College, I watched open mouthed at the quantity and variety of food served at mealtimes. American Universities can be overwhelmingly lavish.

This advice was given many years ago at a graduation ceremony at Asian International School. Since then syllabuses all over the world have changed enormously. The advent of AI necessitates  a revamping of subject matter and all learning,. The content of education has changed but my advice to the young school leavers would remain  the same. Whether students  finish their  education at home or in a foreign country their values and codes of behaviour must be steadfast. 

And to end with a  totally apt quotation to ALL school leavers….”If you want to know who is responsible for most of your troubles take a look in the mirror.”