International Women’s Day: Nurturing Strong and Confident Daughters

By Maheshani Meegahapola

A daughter is not merely the darling of the family and a sweet child full of voluble talk, brought up amid love and affection like a bud. She should possess many other traits and distinctive characteristics that build up her personality to face the future with courage, integrity and confidence and to make her, admirable. This could be inculcated in her only at home, according to Assistant Lecturer in Psychology Rusiru Galagoda.  

In an interview with the Daily Mirror, he said, “It is at home that the foundation to build up her personality should be laid. One’s self-dignity has been described as the force that enables one to identify oneself.”  

It is commonplace to admire the beauty and good looks of a girl at a glance. However, what should be admired are her distinctive inner characteristics—her abilities, intelligence, talents, activeness and resilience—which boost her personality, self-dignity and integrity, he said.  

He said, “She should always be given a hearing when she reaches adolescence, and her views should be consulted to build up her juvenile confidence that she commands recognition in her family and that she has an important role to play in the household. She would then be equipped for a good life and become a complete young woman with self-dignity in society, with the capacity to raise her voice against injustices.”  

Constant dictating of do’s and don’ts during her formative years, and insisting that a “girl should not shout at the top of her voice” or “should not roar with laughter,” which suppress her spontaneous feelings, are injurious to character formation and personality development, as laid down by psychologists.  

It is imperative that we identify her mentality and convince her that happiness, anger, woe and sorrow are conditions of life, but they should be restrained wisely and one should not succumb to mental impulsions. Such guidance is conducive to her thorough understanding of life.  

Life is not a bed of roses, and she has to face vicissitudes in life. In case of a contingent issue, she may confide in her parents to share her grief. However, this could mitigate her self-dignity. Therefore, it is imperative that the stage to build up her self-dignity and self-confidence is set during her formative years at home.  

Parents should provide her guidance to face issues and advise her on how to act wisely to rise above them, refraining from blowing hot and cold or stirring up the problem. Undue interference by parents could perhaps result in her perversion and lead her along a wrong path. Right advice and guidance strengthen her personality and pave the way for her to lead herself along the right path.  

It is the responsibility of parents to advise their daughter to keep company only with friends of high calibre and decent behaviour.  

Parents should provide her with ample opportunities for education and advise her on how to be economically well off and able to make a living by earning through honest effort.  

“A mother is the foremost teacher of a daughter and she must set an example. However, if she is of low calibre and cuts a poor figure at home, it is inevitable that the daughter would follow her. It is the duty of the mother to be a woman of high calibre to produce a daughter with self-dignity and a strong personality from every home,” he said.