Victor Rathnayake is held in very high esteem among the people from all walks of life both as a renown musician and singer. People began to talk about him recently as there was a radical change in his private life. This change was caused by his second marriage. When brickbats being hurled at him by a certain section of the society, he faced them with patience. He selected a young lady named Hashini Amendra as his wife. She is 30 years his junior. Amendra was born and bred in the Southern Province. In order to see how this celebrity couple has progressed in the new innings, several journalists have met them at their home in Oruwala.
Victor and Hashini (H) hadn’t fancied giving much priority to talk about love and marriage when meeting these journalists. The following are excerpts of an interview done with them.
- During my childhood, I liked Victor’s songs. My mother said that she gave his cassettes to console me when I cried
- I have made my maximum contribution to all his activities. I assist his musical activities.
- We spend married life happily. I am happy because I got a husband like this. I have no words to express such feelings
QWe wish to know about the love, care and intimacy associated with this new relationship.
An intimate relationship is created between two persons purely based on their mutual understanding. It’s a strong bond that depends on this mutual relationship between the two. I think this bond becomes strong due to the understating about love and care.
QWhen did you first feel about love? Is it during your school life?
Hashini: There was no such feeling during school life. It was after school that I felt so. I didn’t think of it. But, I have blurred memories of my first love. I don’t like to recall it because it was an immature love that took place during that time. I don’t like to talk about it at all.
“If we are blessed with a child, we will accept it as if would be given a state or country”
QIs this the reason why you entered married life quickly?
Yes, I first got married to that person.
QWhy did you desert him? Is it due to not receiving the love you expected from him or is there some other reason?
I don’t like to talk about it at all because these memories are buried with the sands of time. I have forgotten those poignant memories and don’t wish to talk about that marriage.
QHow did you develop a love towards Victor Rathnayaka?
We have associated with each other for a long time. Later, we got married. I had an intimate relationship with Victor for about 8-9 years and it started when we met at a musical show. That relationship developed into love with the passage of time.
QA mere relationship won’t turn in to love, does it? How did the feelings about love and care develop?
During my childhood, I liked Victor’s songs. My mother said that she gave his cassettes to console me when I cried. They had helped me to stop crying. When I went to school I took his cassettes along with me. Due to this strong bond, it gradually became love. This background of him helped us identify each other.
QYou said that you had a desire to see him earlier. Then, why didn’t you go to see him earlier?
No. I have seen his “Sa” musical shows on numerous occasions. But, I didn’t go and speak to him because I was afraid those days because I was a schoolgirl. He was a colossus. However, at a certain musical show, I got the opportunity to talk to him. It was only after that this love developed.
As Victor was listening to all what was said, this scribe didn’t forget to talk to him as well.
QWho expressed love first?
It was Victor who expressed love first. But, it was a platonic relationship. Victor expressed his love through words.
QWhat did you feel that day?
I was overjoyed and felt as if I won the whole world. We exchanged gifts and sentimental items. That maybe because our relationship was intimate.
QWhen you revealed this friendship to family members how did they respond?
They had no reason to respond because we carried on our love affair on the sly for a long time. However, when, they came to know about this they devised various ways and means with the help of friends to stop it. Various proposals were brought to me and many things were done to stop our affair. But, we didn’t change our stance.
QBoth of you continued this affair for a long time. What made you marry suddenly?
It was after a long time, that we decided to marry. Our affair was strong. We were firmly established on the condition that there should be a single concept in marriage. But, we decided to marry when unnecessary remarks were directed at us from the relatives and the society at large. We married at our own will and until such time, we were ‘living together’.
QAfter marriage what is your opinion about life? Do you still have that love and care in this relationship.
Our love affair began long ago. We lived as if we were married even before marriage. The only difference is that it was later that we signed as husband and wife. There is no change in our previous love. It exists without a change.
QVictor is your husband. Your former lover has become your husband. Do you now look at your husband through the eyes of a wife ?
Earlier we loved as immature lovers. This type of things are being done by everybody. It’s not like that now. We are firmly connected to each other. The Victor I saw earlier is the same today. The only change is that the then lover has become my husband now. It’s very easy to live with him. He is open in his ideas and understands things quickly.
QAre you carrying on with married life happily?
Yes. Really. I see no big difference today because we have spent life like this for a long time.
QIsn’t there any problem from your side of the family?
No. all such problems have been solved. They were opposed to us during the first several weeks of our marriage. They have understood now and they have allowed us to live on our own.
QHow do you contribute to Victor’s artistic activities?
I have made my maximum contribution to all his activities. I have studied eastern music. I assist his musical activities. I help him deal with quotations. I have freed Victor from doing house work like doing the shopping etc. I do it myself. I have given him full freedom to engage in his artistic activities.
QWhen you go to public places what type of response do you get?
They have a very high regard for me as the wife of Victor Rathnayake. Many people come and ask, “Are you Victor Rathnayake’s wife”?
QThe age difference between both of you is more than 30 years. Didn’t it stand in the way of your marriage?
Not at all. When you ask such a question, it reminds me that there is such a large age difference. But, it pales into insignificance when we live together. Even in those days, I didn’t think of the age difference. I think that I am living with a person who is not more than three years elder to me. He has made me understand that there is no problem regarding this age gap. We have no such problem at all because Victor is like a youngster now. I feel I am with a young person when Victor and I deal with love, care and sexual matters.
QHave you decided to give birth to a baby? You have already said so. Is the background prepared for such a thing?
I haven’t related that story. My comments might have been misinterpreted and published in a newspaper. I could have resorted to legal action on the grounds that they have cooked up such a story. After marriage, isn’t it the baby that a woman expects? In such a case, I told that I accept motherhood with pleasure. That is all I said.
QWhat I ask is do both of you have such an idea?
Both of us accept it happily. We are in a very happy mood. If we are blessed with a child, we will accept it as if would be given a state or country. Let time be the decider.
QWhen you had an affair with Victor, didn’t you get any undue proposal from others?
There were no such things. But, I experienced situations that unmarried women face when living in society. After marriage, I didn’t encounter these problems. Now, I am treated as his wife. Now there are little or no requests like that now.
QWhat about married life? What do you think of love, care and sexuality?
We spend married life happily. I am happy because I got a husband like this. I have no words to express such feelings. At times, he is a friend, father, brother and a teacher who teaches me. I think that I may be the luckiest wife in this world. It is such a miracle.
QDo you think that this bondage has come from a previous birth?
Yes. Somebody has expressed the same sentiments to to Victor before. I don’t know whether these statements are made using astrology. An astrologer had told him that he has got as his present wife the wife from his previous birth. Our bondage is strong like that.
As Victor was listening to all what was said, this scribe didn’t forget to talk to him as well.
QWhat do you think of your new wife?
I think the word ‘wife’ is suitable for Hashini in the real sense of the word. I say this because she understands me well. She has studied western music not eastern music. Therefore, I have a relief working in this field. She can prepare the notations and other things related to music. That is the assistance that I get from her. The assistance that a creator can get from his wife is immense. That is very important. I think Hashini may have carried with her such a hope from a previous birth.
QWhat do you think of married life now?
There is nothing special. We live under one roof. But there is not much difference about married life and living together. But after signing as husband and wife we now have the power to live as a family and go anywhere. Marriage gives you the assurance that a relationship is stable. However, the way the society may look at us could be different.
QThat means you are familiar with the concept of living together. What do you think of it?
Living together is one thing. Married life is another. Living together can’t be continued everyday. We should be mature, isn’t it? This should be not in terms of age, but in terms of ideas and attitudes. We can’t continue living everyday sharing handkerchiefs, exchanging gifts, toffees and chocolates. We wanted to marry because the present society can have a different perspective with this regard.
Their comments convinced this writer that they have understood what life is. Victor didn’t like to talk about his first marriage and the children who belong to it. There was a time when this couple had to visit the police station and even produce their marriage certificate. Now these issues have subsided and they live happily. I wished them a happy married life.