By Dhyan Abeyagoonasekera
Although it was thought the defeat of the LTTE was the performance of the last rights of Tamil Eelam, the homeland concept is kept simmering by Eelamists in various hues and disguises.
Recently a senile politico, an actor in his heyday, once again joined the Eelam promotion committee treading the paths of the ‘Tamil cause’,
‘Tamil minority rights’, ‘Tamil discrimination’, ‘Tamil deprivations,’ Tamil repression’ etc. etc. which are mere rambles in support of the push towards Tamil Eelam in Sri Lanka. However, these characters have been shown that their opposite numbers are no pushovers as displayed militarily. Also, recent events underlined their capability to deal with Eelam pirates who have been identified as terrorists.

Leading guy and gal
“It seems that some Indian politicos in Tamil Nadu have nothing do. I mean they don’t seem to have much in their hands though most of their flock of some 70 million are more in rags than riches,” muttered Shelton Perera, the proprietor of the Wallside Restaurant and Bar. Being a Poya, the restaurant was closed and Shelton sitting at the Perera house diing table had had his nose buried in a newspaper, the Daily Dodger, from the time he had his first cup of tea that morning.
“You  must me meaning that Karunanidhi fellow and his female partner Jayalalitha,” said Joy, Shelton’s better half who was looking through tons of pictures of ancient socialites published in the glossy pages of ‘ Oh, my, my!’ magazine.

Actors in retirement
“Meeooww,” murmured Shelton Perera’s employee Tommo, a pussycat sprawled under a chair. “Mr Shelton is referring to Karuna-doiya and Dona Catherina Jayaloono who retired from acting in Tamil films. That means their days of singing, dancing, prancing, committing suicide etc etc for the thrills of South Injuns who loved that kind of poppycock is over.”
 Pussy’s companion, Ooty an owl, perfectly balanced on an arm of the same chair, tooted in, “It was poppycock all right, but, still they became the heart throbs of Tamil Nadu-ians.”
“Purrr, and with that level of popularity they simply walked into politics. But good things don’t last for ever, do they?  So, when age brought on rheumatism, sagging jowls, shivery fingers, lost molars and front teeth and so on,  the pair also began to loose the fire and following in their games of state.”

Maraya is close
Shelton Perera who was still reading the news piped out again interrupting the pussy-owl chatter. “After one top Eelam fellow was finally sent to his maker, this Karunanidhi character is talking of Eelam here while munching dosas  in India. Ours is a sovereign state not a damn plot of land somewhere Tamil Nadu-ians can simply walk into. Anyway what the hell has this beggar got to do with our country? He is an Indian.”
“Don’t get your pressure up because of him, Shelley. It’s all for political mileage. I read somewhere that Karunanidhi’s dream still is to have Eelam in Sri Lanka. That man is on his last legs and must be hearing Maraya whispering funny things in his ear before whisking him away to hell.” Joy grinned. “How’s my theory?”
“Ha-ha-haaa-ha,” Shelton laughed. “That’s a nice way of putting it. I can’t stand that fellow and his first lady Jayalalithavo. Do you know that dame threatened to send troops to carve out a Tamil Eelam here, another country? Can you cap that for sheer arrogance?  You know these South Indian Johnnies tried an Eelam stunt some time ago in India itself. They wanted the Indian government to allow a separate country for Tamils after amalgamating all Indian states in the south. They wanted to call it Dravida Nadu or Dravidstan at that time. The Indian centre said no bloody way for separatism and changed the Indian constitution making the Dravidians look idiots. And what did the centre do next? They quietly directed TN types towards our country to have Tamil Eelam as if Sri Lanka is a branch of India. Why, the Indians habitually finger into all our affairs and even make policy statements on us. Everything the Indians have done and still do in connection with us is for their convenience, control and glory. They are an untrustworthy, two-faced lot of bullies.”

The Indian papa  
“Meeooowyep (Yep), I agree with Mr Shelton,” purred pussy to the owl. “Everybody knows that the Indian papa did not like his southern brats roosting on his own doorstep. So Papa who was well aware of the damage the brats could do, told them, “Thambi, please don’t do your thing here, do it elsewhere. Can’t you see your neighbour? That’s the place for your Eelam. Aim for that joint I’ll give you all the guns and ammo and anything else you want.’ Yah, yah, it was Papa who fathered the LTTE and nourished it. ‘Let our sons grow strong and have their Eelam there; our blessings go with them’ was Papa’s approach in sorting out his southern brats’ yell for Eelam.  So beginning with Rajiv, that was Papa’s theme.”
“Thuhooot. I have heard that Injuns share a common gene that shows up when they creep into other countries. After growing in numbers they have a habit of demanding a separate state for themselves in the other fellows’ country. They tried it in Fiji and failed. The Fijians changed their constitution guaranteeing ethnic Fijians political domination in their country; and why not? They tried the same stunt in Malaysia and were clobbered by the Malay Bhumiputhra system that gave Malaysians top priority. That’s no surprise either; Malaysia is the country of the Malays.”

Miao, Miao, says…
“Meeoowwyep. (Yep). Even our pussy grapevine has run some theories on the Chelvanayas, Ponnas, Vaikikos, ahem-GR’s Karuna-doiyos, Jeyalali-loonos, the Tiger Maha Kotiya and others trying to hammer out Eelam in our own governors’ country. They have completely ignored that Lankawa has a deep history with Sinhala governors. The editor of the pussy weekly magazine “Miao-Miao”, in her last editorial (it’s a she) says among other things… ‘even with minority groups living in their countries, it is accepted that England is the land of English governors, Canada the land of Canadian governors, Germany the land of German governors, Spain the land of Spanish governors, France the land of the French governors, India the land of Indian governor’ (a full list followed). So when considering this fact, despite their own minority groups, why can’t Sri Lanka be the land of Sinhala governors? And, when they rightly say that, while a sly Papa stands by, why are Suddahs, the Un-united crowd and Eelamists making all this fuss to say, ‘no, not quite, the Tamil minority have a right to a homeland there? But, Sri Lanka IS the land of the Sinhala governors isn’t it? Unlike Tamil Nadu-ians whose homeland is Tamil Nadu, we don’t see another Sinhala motherland, do we?’
“Thuhoot, thuhoot,” went the owl. “Why indeed, why indeed…”

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