Booming business with crappy customer service

6 February 2013 07:32 pm - 0 - {{hitsCtrl.values.hits}}

A A A

Though Kumbhakarna isn’t morbid by nature, he has to visit funeral houses as a matter of routine. More and more often, these funerals are held not in the homes of the deceased, but in funeral parlours. This is regarded as convenient to everyone concerned. Everyone, that is, except those who must shoulder the coffin down the stairs if the family can’t get the ground floor parlour and must settle for upstairs.

Kumbhakarna can’t claim to have visited all the funeral parlours in Colombo, but he has visited many in the city and suburbs, including the most reputed parlours in this grim business. Nowhere has he seen a lift available for this purpose. Kumbhakarna has no idea of the profit margins of the undertaker business, but, they can surely afford to install a service lift in their parlours. It should be good business, too, in the long run.

But why bother, since business has always been good (the war years’ boom is gone, but the peace time mortality rate seems to be good enough) and families of the deceased are ever willing to shoulder the coffin from upper floor to ground? Kumbhakarna has not suffered this burden so far. But one can imagine what it must be like to haul what is literally a dead weight (no pun intended) down a narrow staircase, usually built in two sections so that a difficult turn is required. The coffin is usually carried by the nearest family members, some of whom are quite old and very few of whom would have tried weightlifting in their spare time. It would take just one misstep (or one of the haulers to have a heart attack) for the coffin to come crashing down. It’s amazing that this hasn’t happened already somewhere in the city’s ever busy parlours. Hasn’t anyone ever complained?

Asking parlour employees this question, Kumbhakarna has always got negative answers, or puzzled, even hostile, looks. As a rule, funeral parlour people don’t like being asked questions, except those initially posed by family regarding funeral costs. Even then, one can get gruff answers. Kumbhakarna once had to phone a parlour when an old acquaintance died. The voice from the other end told him to come over to discuss, and hung up abruptly, which makes one wonder whether this is just another business like any other. Well, actually, no. It’s worse than most.

A lift would be useful in case of anyone disabled who wished to pay their last respects. The public services in this country, including transport terminals and public transport, take it for granted that the disabled do not exist (a complacent authority would point out that the five rupee coin has identification markings for the benefit of the blind, but this is precisely the point, because five rupee coins are what you hand out to beggars these days). Given the level of enthusiasm we have for the deaf, the blind, the mute, and the crippled, funeral parlours would be good places to start putting a lift for the benefit of wheel chair users.

Weddings and funerals have a number of things in common. The trend of marking both occasions away from home began in the 1980s. Dishwashing is always a drudgery and good porcelain was never cheap. The wedding business has kept a step ahead in this cutthroat world by having its reception halls on the ground floor. In those hotels with upper floor banquet halls, there is usually a lift. This is good news for all guests, young or old (Kumbharkarna has remarked that even the young prefer to take the lift to the first floor). He’s never seen a wedding guest arrive by wheelchair, nor with the aid of a white cane or an Alsatian. It may be that such disabilities are seen as purveyors of bad luck and hence only the truly fit and capable are invited. Good luck to them, because they will need all the ability they have when they try to shoulder a coffin from the upstairs parlour to the idling hearse.

Order Gifts and Flowers to Sri Lanka. See Kapruka's top selling online shopping categories such as Toys, Grocery, Kids Toys, Birthday Cakes, Fruits, Chocolates, Clothing and Electronics. Also see Kapruka's unique online services such as Money Remittence,Astrology, Courier/Delivery, Medicine Delivery and over 700 top brands. Also get products from Amazon & Ebay via Kapruka Gloabal Shop into Sri Lanka

Comments - 0

Add comment
Comments will be edited (grammar, spelling and slang) and authorized at the discretion of Daily Mirror online. The website also has the right not to publish selected comments.

Booming business with crappy customer service

Comments - 0

Add comment

RECOMMENDED

‘Spike in blast fishing’ poses renewed threats to Sri Lanka’s marine ecosystems

UDA owned land in Thalawathugoda; UDA Minister Prasanna Ranatunga under the spotlight for forceful occupation of reserved land

Loss-making SMIB faces political pressure in recovering loans

Baltimore Bridge Collapse: MV Dali, SL authorities anchored in mystery?

Has Sri Lanka become a potential hub for the illegal wildlife trade?

Spotlight on Moragahakanda Development Project Moragolla villagers lose livelihoods and down to one meal a day

Ambitious Sri Lankan jobseekers ‘trafficked into Ukraine war zones’

Most Viewed in News

New Visa procedure implemented

Two racing drivers arrested over Fox Hill tragedy

Street food vendor arrested for verbally harassing foreigner

Sri Lankan among NASA’s new crew for next simulated Mars journey

Complaint lodged over Piumi Hansamali's possession of Gota’s Range Rover

Ranil Wickremesinghe caravan moves on despite barking dogs

MIRROR CRICKET

Is Chamari Athapaththu Sri Lanka’s greatest cricketer ever?

Athapaththu back atop ICC Women’s ODI Batting Rankings

Chamari Athapaththu sets big goal for T20 World Cup

How does CSK get best out of Pathirana?

TODAY'S HEADLINES

SL took minimal steps to punish officials who committed human rights abuses: US report

Iranian President’s visit Sri Lanka withstands western pressure

25 tons of solid waste disposed along Sri Pada route

Temperature rises to ‘Caution’ level

Sri Lanka secures third spot in South Asian Kurash Championship 2024

Athapaththu back atop ICC Women’s ODI Batting Rankings

Army forms committee to probe Diyatalawa Fox Hill Supercross accident

Indian cricket manager indicted for Legend Cricket League match-fixing allegations